2.02.2006

i should've been a...

bit more discriminating.


i think it may liken to
elizabeth kubler-ross' five stages of grief
except,
not exactly.
i can look at the three people who were the most
disappointing in my life
and see the stages of the cycle.
with one,
i've probably even passed apathy
more like "forgot" -- which i feel is the place
i'd like to store all these disappointments.
another is in the "gave-up on trying
to find the good,
that isn't really there,
or is so over-shadowed by
the negative
it doesn't matter anyway."
the third is probably in a stage
described as
"i'm really so fucking angry that
you even have the ability
to call me an 'ex-friend' much less
the fact that you're the most self
-absorbed person that may exist
in the world i know"
type of anger stage.

and then i come to moments like this
the quiet hum,
the day drawing to a close....
the weight of you all has been
lifted
for a good long time now....

and i drift
no,
i move more surely now
towards that door, which,
when closed,
signifies my arrival to

forgotten apathy

jel | 7:37 PM | Comment(s)

quotation of the moment

- "that's what it's all about - full circle moments and recreating within yourself what you've lost."-

jelena

i like to pretend that this is my own little world - that no one can come in unless i open the door. hence, the random snippets of my life and thoughts...

hobbies

our animal menagerie, reading, swimming, staying insanely busy

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current reading

winter's tale ~ mark helprin

music these days

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sunshine and rope swings

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