8.27.2004
ah...tell me all the things i like to hear...
*inhale slowly......and.....exhale*
that needs to become my new cue to myself.
grad school is fully underway 1 week in.....and i think i will love my program, fully revel in the things i get to see, do...the ways i will be stretched past my own boundaries................after the middle of october. until then, i will be sad and distressed and stressed about this mba accounting class i have to take. suffice to say, it is horror....i put in 5 hours of time doing h/w prior to the 1st class meeting and i am now in on my friday night cracking the book again.
but it's been a great day...so fulfilling - i worked at the psych firm from 8:30-6:00, stopped by publix on the way home to get groceries to make my salsa (normally only a few bucks worth of stuff)...but no, i left the grocery with $58.73 in materials - see, dog food was on sale (and we need some)...and then bob needed razor replacements...and the deli counter had too many good cheeses and sandwich meats to pass up....oh well. at least i won't be spending any money on going out this weekend - have to pull a 13-15 hour day at the t'mac tomorrow.
the laptop is still not here. i don't want to talk about it. *sad*
this week, or monday night actually...i had some sort of sadness. i felt such a deep despair....and overwhelming sense of loss - and i am yet to figure it out. though i think it's extremity was tied to the fact that i opened my floodgates (in regard to internal jelena workings) to bob and then i felt so exposed and vulnerable and then he fell asleep....but the whole incident forced me to return to that place in myself where i have to recognize things within me....i really, really can't vocalize my inner thoughts and feelings when they are regarding anything that qualifies as sensitive - which, in my world, is quite a lot....and i know i've always been this way. and it's caused more strife at some periods than others...but, monday, it was like a wake-up call....i'd really forgotten about that aspect of myself - probably because my relationship with bob doesn't stray to that unhealthy stomping on someone else's privately-tended garden of inferred meaning...anyway..it sticks out as a significant part of the week...that, in conjunction with courses like negotiation (where i will have to find that assertive, non-sensitive me and bring her out to battle)...
the baby fish are growing. i've counted at least 8 at once...i think they're platies..but may be guppies...the jury's still out on that one. the dogs and i went running tonight - even though i'm suffering through these hot-flash things (which i'm taking must be a side-effect of the steroids i have to take this week)....the run was fulfilling too. and so, back to above...i said i bought stuff for salsa....all except the tortilla chips. yeah, that's jel for you. so the doggies and i went to the store on the way home and i went in and had to fork over a really sweaty bill..i felt bad, almost. tee hee.
ok. i really have to go teach myself about revenues and expenses and how they are all married to things like debits (which are sometimes PLUS and sometimes MINUS) and credits (which follow the same exasperating logic)....
till i have more blithering to do....
jel | 8:45 PM | Comment(s)
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